WHO Gave you that Right?!?!?!

Being a parent gives you certain rights (and responsibilities) in life. When you think about it there are a lot of “rights” that we as parents (fosters included) over look every day. They become so "Normal" to our everyday lives that we do not even realize that they are in fact rights that were given to us when we became parents.

For instance:

·        Parents have the right to choose the type of delivery they want to have, the doctor they take a sick child to, and hospital they want to use in case of an Emergency

·        Parents have the right to chose their child's form of education whether that be public, private, home-schooling, religious, etc

·        Parents have the right to claim their children on their taxes and get a rather sizable tax return

·        Parents get the right to chose the brand, style, size, and color of their children's clothing

·        Parents get the right to take their child to ANY religious institute, chapel, church, cathedral, or synagogal of their choosing

·        Parents have the right to enroll their child in after school activities

·        Parents have the right to chose the type of food they feed their children, whether that be vegan, vegetarian, paleo, or just plan fast food

·        Parents have the right to let their child watch whatever they approve on TV, use the computer, and have or not have a cell phone

·        Parents have the right to choice their form of discipline

I could go on with this for hours but I think you get the point. Parents have a lot of "Rights". Even as foster parents we have a “Bill of Rights” that tells us what we can and cannot do, and what the State and/or Foster Care Agency must do to protect us and the children in our home. 

All of these things are wonderful and most of them are necessary. We live in a country that allows us to make our own decisions about just about everything when it comes to raising our children. We can even choose to NOT get decease preventing vaccines for our children if we do not feel they fall within our religion. 

<<<<WELL>>>> 

Tonight I want to talk about rights parents DO NOT have! Whether they are a nuclear, gay, straight, bi-sexual, foster, respite, non traditional, or a temporary parent! Regardless of what type of parent you are, or how you became a parent, you DO NOT have the right to:

Þ     Tell a child they are stupid

Þ     Refer to a child a “the problem”

Þ     Blame the child for YOUR problems

Þ     Intentionally make that child cry, sick, or handicap

Þ     Starve you child

Þ     Beat your child

Þ     Lock your child up

Þ     Leave your child in a hot car

Þ     Sell your child for drugs

Þ     Choose a man, woman, dog, buddy, friend, lover, dealer, or drug over your child

Þ     Teach your child to hate others

Þ     Teach your child it is ok to be racist, sexist, bias

Þ     Tell your child he or she is ugly

Þ     Blame your child for their mommy or daddy’s “issues”

Þ     Tell your child you wished they were never born

ÞAND UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, WHAT SO EVER, ARE YOU ALLOWED TO THREATEN YOUR CHILD THAT, IF THEY SPEAK OF THE ABUSE THAT YOU, YOUR LOVER, BOYFRIEND, SPOUSE, GIRLFRIEND, FRIEND, or DEALER PUT THEM THROUGH, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO THEM! 

You are FIRST and FOREMOST a parent!

I do not care how much you "LOVE" someone or how concerned you are about “what will happen to them” you DO NOT HAVE THAT RIGHT!!!

• You DO NOT have the right to blame a child for being abused!

• You DO NOT have the right to tell a child, YOUR CHILD, YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD, that it is THEIR FAULT the abuse happened to them.

• You DO NOT have the right to tell them that if they talk about it, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO THEM!

• You DO NOT have the right to ask your child to LIE for you, to PROTECT YOU, or to keep SECRETS from the people who exist in this world solely to PROTECT CHILDREN AND KEEP THEM SAFE!

• You DO NOT have the right to teach your child that the POLICE, DSS, DJJ, DCS, DCFS, etc are BAD!

YOU are the PARENT! THEY are the CHILD!

YOU have the RESPONSIBILITY to PROTECT them! 

This is NOT negotiable. 

This is not something you get chose whether or not you do it! 

This is not a shot that may prevent them from getting sick! 

This is a RESPONSIBILITY cast on to every individual who becomes a parent, no matter the cause or reason. 

As a parent, no matter in what capacity, YOU HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY to ensure that they are safe, that they feel loved, and that they know that no matter what happens to them,YOU –AS THEIR PARENT, whether blood or not, will have their back! 

This is NOT negotiable. 

This does NOT work the other way around!

I am pretty sure that NO WHERE in the history books, parenting books, child development courses, or medical journals does it give parents permission to USE their children for whatever they feel appropriate.

Nowhere does it state that the 7 year old will protect the mother from all harm and sacrifice her own mental, emotional, and physical health so that the mother may continue to do drugs, drink, and engage in a relationship with the person who is abusing that child!

Nowhere does it give the parent permission to even ASK their child to lie for them!

YOU ARE THE PARENT!

No matter how you made that choice, whether through sex, adoption, foster care, taking legal custody, or volunteering, YOU made the choice to become a parent!

Many people in this world do not get that right to have biological children, however 

A PARENT IS A PARENT NO MATTER THE KIND, 

and when you make the decision to become a parent, you are committing yourself full heartedly to a child!

It becomes your RESPONSIBILITY, OBLIGATION, REQUIREMENT, and RIGHT to protect that child NO MATTER WHAT might happen to you or the person you “love”. 

If you are not willing to walk through fire for your child then you are not ready to be a parent. 

IF you are not ready or willing to put EVERY NEED of your own ASIDE to provide for your child, then you are NOT ready to be a parent!

This is NOT negotiable!

Please remember this when you make the CHOICE to become a parent!